Taking Shits in Unexpected Places

Creaky Floorboard Fred & The Squeaky Shoes

I've been wandering, seeking new kicks
Going to take a fucking crap in public places where I feel space

Shit on the sidewalk, let it bake 
A little gift to the *** bystanders, just for their sake

Taking shits in unexpected places 

Oh what a fucking rush 
Can't resist the thrill of a hidden tush 
It's all about the element of surprise 
When you got to go you got to aim damn high

Next up, let's hear the schoolyard swing 
How about a nice quiet little poop on the string 
Dropped a fucking deucer in the public toilet stall
Nobody's coming in here so what's the harm after all

Taking shits in unexpected places in the fucking dark

Can't resist the thrill of a new unsuspecting park 
It's all about the prank and the shock of surprise
When you got to go you take it on the fucking fly

Don't you judge me, my dear friend 
Because I take a crap at the end

There's no shame in my game 
We all have to go sometime, don't you know my name ?

Now let's move on to the Museum Hall
A masterpiece of brown, an artistic call 
A little surprise in the reading room 
Oh what a treat, a sight to behold, the stench will be so sweet

Taking shits in unexpected places 

Such a fucking gas 
Can't resist the thrill of causing 
A stinky little fuss 
It's all about the goddamn drove a little shock 
When you got to go, you let the brown fly high and just rock

So next time you see a steaming pile 
Don't be such a stucker and give it a smile 
It's all in good fun
it's all in the game 

Taking shits in unexpected places 
We're proud to proclaim