Scan this QR code zip hoodie and cue "Happy Birthday, You Old Fuck", a savage serenade that swaps candles for a reality check: your big day’s less cake, more creaky joints. It’s a brutal bop, wishing you cheer while roasting you as a fossil with a face like “Dad’s ball bag” sagging into oblivion. This song’s a middle finger to merriment, truth bombs about shitting yourself soon trump any party hat vibes. A birthday bash so rude, it’s like your gift’s a walker and a slap. Crank up the volume, scan it, sing it and smirk! Crank up the volume, and get ready for a ball-slapping good time!

Designed with style and comfort in mind, this hoodie will quickly become your new favorite. It’s made from soft fleece inside and outside, with a sturdy metal zipper, convenient front pockets, and a hood with color-matched drawstrings.

• 50% cotton, 50% polyester
• Fabric weight: 8 oz/yd² (271 g/m²)
• Yarn diameter: 20 singles
• Soft fleece fabric inside and outside
• Air-jet spun yarn for reduced piling
• Regular fit
• Metal zipper
• Front pouch pockets
• Unlined hood with color-matched drawcord
• Double-needle stitching at shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband, and cuffs
• Safety Green: Compliant with ANSI/ISEA 107
• Blank products sourced from Honduras and El Salvador

Orders are prepared for shipping within 1-3 business days. Once shipped, standard ground delivery typically takes 2-5 business days. Most orders arrive within 8 business days from the purchase date.

Proudly designed, printed, & shipped in the USA 🇺🇸 for US/Canada/Mexico orders

Proudly designed, printed, & shipped in the EU 🇪🇺 for EU orders

This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!